Feeling jumpy again. Why? Reason on the surface, thesis is moving slowly again, directionless, I don't know where the chapter is heading, to something mindblowing? Definitely not. To a simplistic exploration of explanations, there is that danger. I just don't know where I am going, and I am worried that it will not hit the standards, the impossible standards I have set for myself, i suspect, my superivisor will find it fine, but for me, its not enough, its never enough. Deeper reason: I am frightfully envious of the people around me, I mean, I honestly feel happy for them when they do well, but still, I am worried that, I am not as good as them, the way they write, their ideas, I just don't know whether I am good enough.
I talk to myself because there's no one else to talk to