I wonder whether pain helps me think. Yesterday, I was feeling so jumpy, a few cuts on my arm with my keys calmed me down, and voila, i managed to structure the section I was writing. I remember the term before my exams in O, was characterised by long nights, struggling at the computer, cutting whenever i felt down, to maintain momentum in my writing. And the essays turn out better than the ones I did before C wrecked my equilibrium. Its like whipping a horse to make it run faster.